How to talk to a woman? Texting or calling

Why approaching via text is more advantageous than a phone conversation, especially when you lack experience communicating with a woman you’ve just met

In the digital age, texting has become one of the most popular ways to keep in touch, get to know new people, and build relationships. If you’re a man who has just met a woman you like, but you’re not very confident in your communication skills or you’re not good at “sweet-talking,” approaching her via text can be much more advantageous than a phone conversation. Here’s why:

You have time to think about your responses.

On the phone, everything happens in real time; you have to react quickly, be spontaneous, and avoid awkward silences. If you lack experience or confidence, this can be stressful and you might end up saying the wrong things or freezing up. With texting, you have time to read, think about what you want to say, and even edit your response before sending it. Basically, you can filter and refine your communication.

Control over emotions and nervousness.

If you’re shy or get nervous when talking to a woman you like, these emotions are easily detected over the phone: a trembling voice, stammering, long pauses. With texting, you can maintain control and hide these small, natural insecurities, which gives you a more relaxed and confident vibe.

No need for “sophisticated lines.”

With text, you don’t need to impress with brilliant lines or a perfect speech. You can be yourself, use subtle humor, or just be authentic, because you have time to choose your words. Plus, many women appreciate authenticity more than canned lines or forced jokes.

You create a comfortable rhythm for both of you.

With texting, each person responds at their own pace. There’s no pressure for a continuous conversation as there is on the phone. If she’s busy, she can reply later, and you can do the same. This flexibility reduces anxiety and makes getting to know each other more relaxed.

You have written records to learn from.

Messages stay there: you can reread conversations, see what worked and what didn’t, notice her reactions to certain topics or jokes. You can learn from your own mistakes and improve. On the phone, everything slips away quickly and you don’t have any “history” to analyze.

You can build your confidence gradually.

If you don’t have much experience communicating with women, texting helps you gain some, see what works, and feel more secure. As the conversations evolve, you can move on to phone calls when you feel you’ve overcome the initial nerves.

Eh! Now maybe more people will understand why I don’t like talking on the phone. It’s a comfort for me. It gives me the feeling that I have control over the conversation. Not only does it feel that way, but it actually is that way.

Also, texting can establish a connection that makes a first meeting much more comfortable. Especially for those people who don’t like going on dates. Because, believe it or not, there are people who—even if they like someone and want to meet up—find dates to be a real ordeal. Or rather, they hate the pressure, the so-called preparation ritual, the nerves involved in getting ready, the stress of the mystery that surrounds the person they’re about to meet, and so on.

I think I’m arguing all this more from personal experience than from scientific data. But I suspect I’m not the only one who would rather sit on the couch watching a good movie than waste an hour or two getting ready for a date with someone I don’t know yet but like. To waste time thinking about what to wear? But what if he wears something strange? And waste time on the whole preparation ritual? I’d rather spend the whole day in my pajamas watching TV.

Anyway, for those who want to go on dates, here’s why I personally recommend making first contact via text. And, again, from the perspective of women like me, messages can tell me if a man is worth my effort to actually meet him. He can intrigue me, make me curious. If not, I’ll choose my couch.

Texting allows you to quickly identify common interests or topics that can be discussed on the date, helping you avoid awkward moments or forced face-to-face conversations.

Through messages, each person can more easily express their preferences regarding the place or activity for the meeting, without the direct pressure of an in-person discussion, making the planning process more efficient.

Exchanging messages helps create a minimum level of familiarity and comfort, which reduces anxiety and nerves during the first meeting, making everything feel more natural.

Before investing time and energy into a date, texting offers the chance to evaluate if there’s compatibility in terms of values, principles, or lifestyle.

Messages also allow for quick clarification of each person’s expectations and intentions, thus avoiding confusion or disappointment at the first meeting.

If any red flags appear (inappropriate behavior, pushiness, lack of respect), it’s much easier to cut off communication, without the emotional involvement and discomfort of rejecting someone face-to-face.

So, even if it’s hard to understand, a conversation behind a screen gives you control. The problem is when people intentionally hide the truth. Someone can embellish, lie, or mislead more easily from behind a screen. But those who have deception in their DNA and misrepresent themselves can also lie and trick you over the phone. On the other hand, emotional detachment protects much better anyone whose expectations have been let down. A conversation behind a screen is only as emotionally charged as each person wants it to be. And there’s a big difference between wanting and being, because both people typing the messages are in control.