“Money doesn’t matter, having a family is more important.”

“Money doesn’t matter, having a family is more important.” Or have you heard how happy some women are to have children? I mention women because they’re the ones who most often express joy about having kids. I’ve heard this so many times, and I’m sure many of you have too.

Well, let me tell you a secret: these lines are nothing more than defense mechanisms. They’re meant to comfort someone into being satisfied with having little in life—because they can’t afford more or aren’t able to get more. I even know people who aimed too high, fell hard, and then had children. The way they apologized for their professional failures was, frankly, idiotic: they claimed they wanted children and are “more fulfilled” that way.

You can kiss my ass. Just admit your failure.

There’s no happiness in having children and then needing to borrow money just to feed them. There’s no happiness in sending your child to school without enough money for shoes or notebooks. The lines that make me vomit are the ones where someone promotes parenting and family life as if starting a family is more important than building yourself up professionally and financially.

Those lines come from lazy, incompetent people who don’t like to work—or from the uneducated. People who are forced by their own condition to settle for less because they can’t do more. And because of these limitations, they develop defense mechanisms to help themselves feel satisfied with what they have or can do.

That kind of “happiness” in marriage and parenthood has nothing to do with maternal instinct. On the contrary, people who genuinely have maternal instinct and truly want children think first about what having a child means, about the child’s needs. They try to secure themselves financially to be able to offer the child the basics: food, clothing, education, safety, health, and a decent life.

So no, not all the happiness you hear about having children or a family is real. A conscious man or woman who truly wants children does not want their children to suffer. They don’t go and have ten kids that they can’t supervise or care for.

Many relationships ended in marriage simply because splitting the expenses was easier. Then, in many cases, children came along just to “strengthen” the marriage, to trap a partner in the relationship, or simply because of ignorance—because they believed that this is the rhythm of life: get married, have kids, die. As if that’s the only reason they were born.

That’s why I’m fucking cold. I don’t give a shit about all the charity events meant to “help” needy people or children. If I feel pity and give them money, it won’t solve anything. Stupid people will keep having children even if they can’t afford to raise them.